Our cold spring has kept our warm jackets and hoodies close by. Even though AcuWeather has predicted warmth here or there, it really hasn’t arrived in a way I expected it would.
Horses lose winter hair based on daylight hours; thus, they are a little defenseless on cold, rainy May nights. Little Rosy has had to wear her bright pink rain sheet to keep her from shivering. Perhaps July will bring summer?
Our days are always busy, but the busy-meter just bumped up a few notches with Emily going on her maternity leave. Little Leo is due July 23, though she is hoping for an earlier delivery. Don’t we all?
The great news is we have been able to graduate some of our clients who are now better able to adjust to school, home and peers. They feel good about themselves. I am so proud and inspired by the good work of Raven Rock Ranch!
I was able to take on a new client recently, a 15-year-old I’ll call Ellen. She had recently moved from out of state. She had what her mom called “selective mutism”. She seldom, if ever spoke. Her mom told me not to expect her to speak to me.
When she arrived, I observed a few things- she was remarkably pretty, wore clothes that were not a common style around here, and she did not, indeed, speak. Eye contact did not happen. Our first task is to find the horse she “resonates” with. The difficulty I was facing was without her looking at me or speaking to me, it seemed like it could be virtually impossible for me to know which horse she resonated with. But I continued, speaking to her in a very conversational way, explaining each horse’s story.
We methodically moved from one horse to the next, I told their story and Ellen listened. When we got to Rembrandt (“Remmy”) I didn’t need words or eye contact. It was clear to me and to him. He was hers, and she was his.
I explained to her that he was an Alpha horse and needed her to have firm, kind boundaries. No exceptions or he would not respect her. Ellen’s journey was defined to me that day: She needed to find a way to have boundaries with others or she wouldn’t have chosen our best boundary teacher. When kids come here, it is always so clear as to what it is they are working on emotionally. It is the magic of Equine therapy.
After a few weeks, Ellen’s mom told me that she began to cut. It is always hard to generalize as to why kids do this- the usual reason is to be able to FEEL as they have shut down emotionally and feel nothing. However, in the case of Ellen, I don’t think that was the reason. She cut arms and legs and was always sure to wear clothes that showed her cuts. Most people who cut hide it well from others, but not Ellen. She wanted everyone to see-she was trying to fit in with the kids at her new school. Her mom was wonderful about talking with her and explaining that the kids she was trying to impress might prevent her from getting to know kids who were better adjusted and a better choice for friendship.
It’s a journey and we are focusing on self-worth and boundaries with those she needs to have boundaries with. We just began, but Ellen is talking, laughing, and enjoying her time with her new BFF, Remmy. He loves her just as she is. We can learn a lot from horses.
Thank you for your support.
Please join us for our fund-raising event in November. Details to be announced the closer we get to the event.
With hugs and love, Sandy
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